A Christmas Caroline: A Novel by Kyle Smith

By Kyle Smith

Each day is like Christmas for Caroline, a tender blond editor at provides, the purchasing journal. each day brings extra loose Guccis and Pradas for her journal and her closet. however the real Christmas is a drag: each person will get offers. And Caroline is feeling the lack of her mysterious father greater than ever. Her magnificent fashion designer mom is in dumpy Branson, Missouri, her redheaded assistant Ursula Heep is scheming in the back of her again, that creepy receptionist Mrs. Defarge will not cease with the knitting, and a 6' 7" soccer participant named Tiny Tim is keen about her. On Christmas Eve, the ghost of Caroline's lifeless roommate, Carly, returns to warn that 3 extra spirits are coming. Caroline starts a visit to Christmases prior, current, and destiny, yet even though she has 9 closets, she does not have something to put on. played through Nanette Savard

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Bardell looked like someone who had spent the last few decades with orchestra seats to the most neurotic show on earth. 36 Kyle Smith “Sister,” she said, “I didn’t get married until I was forty-two. ” Caroline gave her a hostile smile. “Thanks for not helping,” she said, and turned to go. “Listen to me,” said Mrs. Bardell. ” Caroline was already letting the door snap shut with more force than was absolutely necessary. And when she got outside, what was the first thing she saw? An SUV pulling up in front of her.

This was really exceptionally un-Summer-like behavior. ” said Caroline. ” 32 Kyle Smith Summer sat back down. “So we agree that it doesn’t say welcome anywhere on me. ” “Hold on, Miss Doctor Estherson,” Caroline said. “You’re paid. So what if you’re a doormat? These boots are handmade, from Milan. ” “Caroline, I can’t do this anymore,” Summer said. ” Summer looked sad not angry. ” “But you can’t,” Caroline said. ” Summer took off her glasses, threw her notebook in a drawer of her desk, and put her head in her hands.

A Christmas Caroline 49 smile—lips tight together, face frozen above the mouth—and one of them asked for her phone number. ” Which he eagerly wrote down. Then he asked if it was 212, 646, 917, or 718. Caroline gave one of her most eager smiles to Trot. ” she said. “Ah,” said Trot. ” Trot’s face had become a familiar sight in magazines and on handbills in the nine months since the debut of his one-man Off-Broadway show, A Brief History of My Greatness, Vol. I. Caroline hadn’t been invited to opening night and wouldn’t have gone anyway: She had hoped the show (billed as a “play slash performance art piece slash confessional slash diet cola”) would flop.

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