Bathtub Admirals by Jeff Huber

By Jeff Huber

Within the depraved satirical culture of Joseph Heller and Kurt Vonnegut, the adventures of 2 naval males stick with the US s upward thrust to worldwide dominance as its army burns off extra testosterone, connives to justify its bloated finances, and prepares for the final word problem the warfare on Evil. pals Jack Hogan and Buzz Rucci joined the U.S. military to shield their nation, yet they quickly locate themselves serving in a time "play" battle. Jack's upward push within the army is firstly swift as he dazzles the full army together with his very good technique within the nice mammoth Backfire Raid opposed to the Russians, and single-handedly saves the fleet within the virtually nice immense teach break. yet his brilliance and competence foster resentment, and his naval occupation is quickly within the doldrums. Buzz isn't any fit for Jack s mind, yet he performs the sport and is aware the folly of embarrassing his superiors. necessarily Jack alienates one too a number of the tub admirals, his occupation takes a dive, and his moment marriage is going right into a skid. uninterested he's taking early retirement on the rank of commander, and in a last irony, watches newly put in Admiral Rucci sail into the sundown in charge of his personal fleet. An insider's eye for element and authenticity promises a scathingly humorous indictment of incompetence on the optimum ranks of the military.

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Gary keeps the gator occupied while Jack conspires with Buzz over by the helm console. “We’re trying to milk some good shit out of the gator about his ex-non-wife,” Jack says, “so we can pitch him shit about it forever later. But we don’t want to spook him, and we’re afraid he’ll know we’re up to something if we say anything. ” O O O O O “Fuck Fix Felon,” the gator says. “I flew with that asshole in my first squadron. ” Gary says. The gator says he’ll tell them the whole story, but it’s convoluted, so if they want to hear it, they’ll have to shut their pie holes and listen and not interrupt him.

And just because the NORPAC’s behind us doesn’t mean you can let your guard down. Jack let his binoculars hang from the strap around his neck. They weighed a ton. ” Groucho peered into the night hood of the port-side radar repeater. ” “Very well,” Jack said. Four thousand yards sounded like a lot of distance until you stopped to consider that it took almost six thousand yards to bring a super-carrier like Connie from thirteen knots to dead in the water, even with all engines back full emergency.

But what he does instead is stumble off the couch and spill his drink and the rest of him tits-down on the carpet. The squadron XO, a little short guy, grabs the skipper’s tits and the rest of him up off the floor and hauls him off to a bedroom. The Mummy lurks around the room with a drink in his hand, looking like he expects everybody to recognize him and shake his hand and kiss his ass. But nobody does that because they’re all too shit-faced. The short XO comes back from the bedroom, troops over to The Mummy and stands under him.

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